This is the fifth talk in my Discipleship series. The talks Discipleship precedes it and Discipleship: Evaluation follows it.
There are two different but specific groups to mentor that haven’t fit my general categories thus far. They’re extremely important, so I don’t want to exclude them. I chose this talk to cover them. They are children and unbelievers.
While you get opportunities to influence children in volunteer activities like sports coaching and academic competitions, there your Christian influence extends mostly by example. Your function isn’t to make them disciples, but to shine as a Christian example. In church, among your relatives and friends, and mostly among your own children, you have a marvelous opportunity to raise disciples.
“O my people, hear my teaching; listen to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in parables, I will utter hidden things, things from of old — what we have heard and known, what our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children; we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.” (Psalm 78:1-7)
When my brother and I were young, my parents decided to start attending church to give us good morals. This was a common practice in my country in the 1970s. My parents’ faith was insufficient to lead our Christian upbringing. Instead, I found Christ through Sunday School teachers. My first and second grade Sunday School teacher, Mrs. Sorensen, was the closest person to a saint I’ve ever known. She was artistic. When you’d visit her home, she might be making a blanket for a couple’s baby soon to be born, a clay nativity set for a family at church, and a pie for the postman. She was always giving and thinking of others. She was a model of service. And that love and kindness extended to her class. When the pastor gave a hellfire and brimstone sermon one day, I repented and became a Christian. I was frightened, but I was also motivated by the love I saw in Mrs. Sorensen. It was a genuine conversion, because I remained in the faith. My third and fourth grade Sunday School teacher, Mr. Demooy, taught me to love the Bible. He’d come to class and say, “Charles, guess what I read in Proverbs this week?” and he’d go on to share it. His love for the word was infectious. I started reading the Bible then and finished it by seventh grade.
When we had children, my wife and I wanted to teach our children the faith. While Sunday School has its place, particularly for children with weak or unbelieving parents, it cannot impart the depth of the faith because of its limited time. In my country, Sunday School occurs once per week. How good would you be at math, if you only studied it once a week? How good we you be at playing the violin if you only practiced once a week? When my children were very young, we read them Bible Stories from children’s Bibles. When they could read and write, I began daily devotions with them. I began in Genesis, covered about a chapter a day, and finished the Bible in four years. For the next four years, my wife led their Christian education, covering the Bible in more depth with markups.
To this day, none of my children walk with the Lord, so I do not claim this work makes them Christians. Each abandoned the faith for one reason or another. Sometimes, I’m tempted to think the individual Christian education we gave them was thus useless. But every time I do, I analyze the facts and conclude what we gave them was good, just insufficient. They simply needed to see more, particularly more on the action side. They needed to see more of Christianity in practice. Friends of ours took their children on service trips after natural disasters. Others took their children to far-off countries to visit flourishing Christian communities. Others took their children to visit the sick in hospitals. Others baked goods for the bedridden. I wish we had done more activities like this and involved our children. Even in my mentoring work, I rarely brought my children.
Two talks ago, I spoke about three components of Bible Study: observation, interpretation, and application. Younger children up to about age 12 are exceptional observers. When you teach them the Bible, focus on the facts and go deeply with them. Memorize often. The days of creation, the 10 commandments, the stories of Elijah, the parables, the Sermon on the Mount, the journeys of Paul — they’re all great facts to inculcate the Christian faith. While the facts won’t save them, they are a necessary backbone to mature faith. As they age, maybe ages 10-16, teach them to go deeper, looking for the claims the author makes or implies about God and man. God is good, God is love, God is all-powerful, man sins, man was made in God’s image, man has ability for good but rejects it — those are interpretations worthy of finding. In their last years in your home, teach them to take these observations and interpretations, and apply them to their own lives. How do I apply the Bible’s teachings to a choice of a mate, use of free-time, purposes in life, posture toward the needy, career choices, and use of money? These, by the way, are the exact phases of child education in the classical method: the grammar stage, the logic stage, and the rhetoric stage. It’s been taught for ages, and it works.
Beyond this academic pursuit, though, there’s the practical component I wish I had emphasized. As I continually teach in these talks, your example is of prime importance to children. Love the Father and
act Christ-like. And do this toward all, not just them. I know some of the unchristian ways I treated my children and my wife hurt them deeply and turned them off from the faith. When you fail, repent to the offender in front of all who witnessed it. Do not merely avoid evil, but seek good. Befriend the lonely, help the poor, love all. Continually pursue righteousness. Do not grow weary but run with perseverance.
As you mentor, do not overlook unbelievers. Many are more open than you think. When Christ was lifted up, he drew all men to him. God is constantly drawing all toward him. Some are hard-hearted. They may have been softer when they were younger; they may soften later. Some are ready right now, though, to hear the truths of the faith. How do you know? You ask.
In the late 2000s, I was troubled at my workplace. I’m an engineer, and I work among engineers. Engineers are naturally curious and prefer to conclude things for themselves. They naturally challenge the status quo. However, I didn’t see this same curiosity and investigation toward Christianity. I found they discarded Christianity primarily in ignorance. Simultaneously, I was disturbed by the immorality among my co-workers. I decided to start a Bible Study among them. I prepared a Bible Survey that covered Genesis through Romans in 48 one-hour lessons. It consisted of weekly readings and an in-depth section for our hour together. I gained permission from my boss to reserve a conference room every Thursday morning for a Bible Study. Then, I wrote a letter of invitation and distributed it to my co-workers. three Protestants, three Catholics, one Mormon, one Unitarian, and three Atheists attended. To this day, it’s my favorite Bible Study I have ever taught. Most had never studied the Bible, and they were naturally curious. They brought up sides I had never considered. They were open-minded debaters, and I found it challenging every week. Many read much more than the reading section, wanting to know more. While only one became a Christian, I believe all grew, and as I taught in the second session, that is the aim. God may place others in their lives to draw them further. God may bring to mind a truth they were taught. We are all only parts of God’s great plan of redemption.
Your approach to unbelievers should differ from believers. They didn’t come to become deeper Christians, they came because they are interested. The Bible commands don’t apply to them; they haven’t adopted the faith. They can’t be expected to study or pray on their own. Grow to understand their position, mentally place yourself there, and see what should be said and done. You honor God more by meeting them where they are than forcing things they disbelieve.
Encourage them to study the Bible with you. I’ve convinced unbelievers there’s absolute truth. I’ve convinced them there’s a creator. Yet, those mental victories felt empty afterward. The unbelievers simply continue their life with a slight adjustment. However, getting them in the word reveals our God and his character much better. It’s similar to natural revelation. While “the heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands,” (Psalm 19:1) they lack the clarity and exactness the Scripture reveals. You’ll get much further with a Bible Study than with conversation and debate.
In your study, treat the Bible like a book, like any other book they might read. They’re curious, but they do not believe the Bible’s the word of God. Meet them at their level. Study it like you would study Dickens or Dostoevsky. There’s plenty to get out of it that way. Focus mostly on observation, what the text says. Allow a little time for interpretation, but demonstrate interpretation close to the text. Immediate context should rule interpretation, then context within the book. Try to avoid interpretations beyond that. It might limit you somewhat, but not much, and the care to be exact and truthful will aid you. Antagonists love to use far-off interpretations to discredit the Bible. My work study was an hour; I only allotted ten minutes at the end for attendees to air their own opinions.
Even with these adjustments, there will be plenty of sections that make the unbeliever uncomfortable or offended. In my work Bible Study, I was constantly challenged, particularly because there were many against me. If the challenges are leveled with respect, treat them as challenges. If they’re inflammatory, state that. Inflammatory statements get the study off track quickly. You won’t be the only one upset.
If you host a group study, like I did, look for one-on-one opportunities with each attendee. In a one-on-one, you can answer their specific questions directly, tailor the lessons for their specific situation, and get them out of crowd-thinking, where the presence of other skeptics makes them harder than they really are. I had multiple lunches with many of my attendees, covering our studies in more detail, and allowing me to jump into their life.
Unbelievers will contrast your life with what you’re teaching. Hypocrisy turns them off too. All these talks return to the first one. Maintain the highest integrity and commitment to loving God and living like Jesus in your work with unbelievers. That gets you furthest.